The Sweet NIMBY and BY

Every suburban schlemiel knows that when local politicians begin the tedious process of dipping their well-oiled beaks across your property lines, it’s time to dust off those mildly clever placards for an hour or two of semi-enthusiastic protesting down over at city hall.

You must be familiar with NIMBY, “not in my backyard,” the understandable view that things only matter insofar as they affect you directly. You have no real objection to the construction of a homeless shelter, just as long as it doesn’t uproot your recently installed swing set. I’m sure there are those who don’t take the state claims quite as literally, contending that “backyard” is a general, umbrella term meaning neighborhood. 

Not me.

I’ve seen too many weird people wearing hardhats climbing atop my fence line to believe it means anything other than a total affront to my backyard. Yet there are other phrases, that receive short shrift. There’s MIMBY (Mow in my backyard), the thinking goes something like this: you’re in my yard, the lawnmower is right next to you, why not take it for a few spins around the property and trim the grass? 

There’s YAIMFY (You’re actually in my front yard). This happens mostly in coastal communities where it can be confusing for non-boaters to understand how what faces the water is technically the front yard and not what you pull up to in a delivery truck and paper hat. 

PIMBY is a a good one: please, in my backyard. Or SCIMBY: shuck corn in my backyard, though it's a purely summertime request. Then, of course, there’s COCODAPIMBY: Create or combine a deck and porch in my backyard. Why do we have to choose which is which? It’s never made sense to me. Porches and decks can be the same, we just have to work at it a little harder than in the past. Something like this wouldn’t hurt either. 

Not all backyards are created equal. Some have sewage flowing straight through it. Others have paved over all that green goodness. Some have Adirondack chairs and classic Weber grills. Whatever you backyard looks like, all you need is a cute acronym to get the public's attention.

Hey pols, you listening?