We’re looking for anyone between the ages of 1 day old (union rules, sorry) and 100 years old (it’s an insurance thing) to be a part of a grand television project, a mini-series of sorts.
So who are we looking for? That depends…
Have you ever ordered something at a folksy delicatessen only to find out the cutters behind the counter held the mayo when you specifically asked for it? If you walked away and “let it go” then this role is not for you. We want someone who confronted the bread boy and demanded an explanation for this perceived, highly imprecise slight. Someone who relished the moment, performing in front of horrified lunchers and launched into a diatribe on the importance of condiments.
Taking things personally takes practice and years of paranoia. Do you ever feel like everyone is looking at you when out in public? Good. Because they are. They’re thinking, “what a sensitive SOB.” They don’t have to say anything to offend you, do they? Their existence is what takes you off your kilter and out of your kilt.
We like sensitivity. We don’t want someone who walks across hot coals during a corporate retreat pain-free. But if your feet are getting prickly simply reading about just such a briquette walk, then this might be for you.
Because we’re not looking for actors or actresses and definitely no thespians. We’re looking for real people with real problems.
Please include a headshot and a lengthy description of past lives. References are superfluous, unless they’re famous.
Must be available to work from tonight until the foreseeable future. This could take a while.
All decisions will be final, capricious, and without merit.
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