Late Capitalization

Capital letters used to mean Something. But what has emerged since the rise of Cyber communication is Nothing short of keyboard Anarchy. In the past, Uppercase letters were employed for extra emphasis, with adopters abiding by a Strict set of Rules. Today, things are quite Different.

What we Capitalize and what we Don’t has very little connection to reality or consistency. In the Old days, we capitalized our names, our cities and our Latin plant names. Now, any Portion of A sentence may rise to the top in a foolish fit of Artificial posturing. We are a Case insensitive culture, choosing chaos over Clarity.  

Caps lock, as feared as any key on any Keyboard, is now the standard operating Position for online Exchanges. Some equate its use with yelling. But Yelling would be preferable, since a howl has a degree of variance with its competing inflection points. Caps lock is one note, and not a very good One at that. Simple songs are fine, while bashing your head into a piano for a unsavory shock of ivory noise is not exactly Music. 

Some people will Blame our Previous president for his rather Unusual grasp of capitalization. While He certainly didn’t help, the rot goes far deeper than that. Look at any Menu or any Email. Go through any text message or Scan any Advertisement. Nothing is as it should be. I believe an E.E. Cummings type backlash is coming to our checkered communiqués. An unlettered revolution is in our future, where the lowercase finally seizes the moral high ground. Case Warfare is on the horizon, mark my words…just do it with a Red Pen and white out. 

No longer will we be living in a Dictatorship of Proper nouns. How could we when nothing is truly proper? One more reason why people prefer Podcasts and Audiobooks to actually Reading.  

Luckily, I have a solution, borne out of the blinding esoterica of stultifying typography. What we need is a burgeoning middle case. The fact is that case inequality has never been worse. What about something that lies between the lower and the upper, a mediator, a peacekeeper, and a man of letters, but the Dag Hammarrskjöld of letters. Our sentences cannot hold up with this much tension in the zero sum game of binary capitalization. Can you blame people for resorting to the all emoji conversations as a way to circumvent the current Mayhem? 

i sure Can't.