Quiet Something

“Quiet quitting doesn't actually involve quitting. Instead, it has been deemed a response to hustle culture and burnout; employees are "quitting" going above and beyond and declining to do tasks they are not being paid for.”

-NPR

What’s gone relatively unnoticed until now is that “quiet quitting” is hardly unique.

There’s quiet showering, which doesn’t actually involve showering, but rather, sitting on the edge of the toilet seat as a shower warms up. It’s been described by those in-the-know as a response to hyper-cleanliness and the fetishizing of hygiene. 

There’s quiet sleeping, which doesn’t actually involve sleeping, but the mere closing of one’s eyes as a silent protest against the tyranny of circadian rhythms.  

There’s quiet eating, which doesn’t actually involve eating, but instead, the strategic shifting of one's plated foodstuffs. Diners are finally quitting the segregation of courses and brainless adherence to the rigid parameters of a standard restaurant menu. Some have taken to bringing an equine feed bag with them to Michelin star restaurants as a signal to the chef that the era of epicurean excess is coming to an end. 

There’s quiet driving, which doesn’t actually involve driving, but parking. As a way of objecting to the notion of alternate side street cleaning regulations, many drivers are simply staying put. Suddenly, gas prices aren’t nearly as important. 

 

There’s quiet spelunking, which doesn’t actually involve spelunking, but remaining safely above ground, sucking in deep breath after deep breath. Many are embracing “air” instead of the weird obsession their peers have with tight spaces and uncomfortable crevices. 

There’s quiet contrapposto, which doesn’t actually involve leaning, but sitting down. It’s mostly a response to the idea, helped popularize by the likes of Michelangelo, that it should be default position for a relaxing individual.

There’s quiet mugging, which doesn’t actually involve mugging. Instead, it’s been called an understandable response to the inherent risks associated with a life of crime, where would-be assailants help strangers in the hopes of getting a little something in return. Say jewelry or a crisp sawbuck.

And of course, there’s quiet writing, which doesn’t actually involve writing, but a focus on talking about writing. The over emphasis of the written word has left bon vivants and living room storytellers with an overwhelming sense of inadequacy. Would society even promote someone like Homer today? Not without a big presence on social.